1. |
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Everything will change when we have money
We’ll bare our souls and taste that milk and honey
Cult fandoms okay, but we’ve still got bills to pay
Might as well just join a band and snort our cares away
Everything will change when we have money
This will solve it all, I swear it honey
We’ll make lifelong friends
And we’ll never fight again
Love and peace and harmony
Lie on the horizon
Everything will change
Everything will change
Thank God it’s all resolved while in our twenties
Everything will change
It always does with fame
And for the worse, but screw it, we’ll have money
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2. |
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It’s 1919, and the story goes: After months of debts and frustration
A poor boy chased after a rich girl, with the news of his publication
Said “this is our ticket to higher class, for the fame that we’ve long been craving”
This book is the key to our destiny, let’s begin the misbehaving
It’s called this side of paradise, this side this side of paradise
Let’s make our lives paradise as husband and as wife
We’ll be the next great socialites, stars of the Jazz Age overnight
She said “Sounds like paradise”, He hugged her far too tight
The idol of youth and the flapper queen, New York’s top partygoers
Spent two years of drinking traded for two decades of hangovers
A nice quiet life would’ve never felt right but the spotlight was overbearing
Along came affairs and declining sales, and the novelty seemed to be wearing
Oh I thought it’d be paradise, this side this side of paradise
What was once a paradise’s now beautiful and damned
Zelda now thinks she’s no good and Scott departs for Hollywood
Depression hits, new book’s obscured, the dream feels like a sham
And from there on, her new home was Highland Hospital
Until all that remained were embers
When they died, seemed there was nothing to feel good about
At least I think they’d like the way that they’ve been remembered
They took their share of paradise
And for it paid a costly price
Following the famed green light until it fades away
Love’s like the pursuit of fame, you hunt it down until you’re drained
It may drive you to your grave, we’ll chase it anyway
Now their love’s recalled as paradise
Been etched into the sands of time
Scott and Zelda won the fight, despite losing their lives
‘Cause time’s got a way of rewriting truth
Something that the Fitzgeralds loved to do
Myths overpower what’s real and true, and the dream is crystallized
Until it’s paradise
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3. |
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Headlines will spin in to set the scene
The camera lens is rubbed with Vaseline
The film gets grainy, you could swear that we glow
Was it shot so very long ago?
We’ll say that your housekeeper found you
Keep dancing around what they all knew
After nine films, we were fools to think we could hide
Cuz we fell in love right before their eyes
Step into the sun
Don’t be afraid
There’s nothing to be done with the mess we’ve made
Can’t stay in the cold
Sweet tortured soul
Say we’re only friends, say it’s only a role
Don’t leak the truth
We can’t be seen
When you kiss me, so kiss me on the screen
Pretending off the set can take its toll
But we’re not acting when the camera rolls
An average joe meets woman of the year
You brought me down to earth, so let me take you to the stratosphere
Step into the sun
Don’t be afraid
There’s nothing to be done with the mess we’ve made
Can’t stay in the cold
Sweet tortured soul
No need for rehearsal when you’re living the role
They’ll see the truth
In every scene
So just kiss me, kiss me on the screen
Competitor that I adore
Don’t punish yourself anymore
You’ve tossed and turned for thirty years
With catholic guilt and buried fears
Please let me in before you go
I don’t give up, I don’t take no’s
So tell me now before you rest
What kept you up? What was it Spence?
On the screen, on the screen, kiss me on the screen
Now tell me
On the screen, on the screen, kiss me on the screen
Step into the sun
Don’t be afraid
Millions have adored this mess we’ve made
Come in from the cold
Sweet tortured soul
Living wasn’t easy and you’re dying to go
So I’ll let you sleep
And I’ll let you dream
Of when you kissed me, kissed me on the screen
|
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4. |
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It’s the story
Of a lovely lady
Punching well below her weight
Here’s the story
Young Greg Brady
Wants to ask you on a date
Florence, what are we waiting we for?
I swear I’m not a little kid no more
See my new perm? It’s out of sight!
So meet me on the AstroTurf lawn
We’ll share a soda and keep on
Keep on keep on dancing all through the night
And I know it might seem strange at first
But Jan and Peter have done worse
TV Mom
Yes, TV son?
You’re the one
Oh my God
There’s a spark you can’t deny it, I’m sure TV Dad won’t mind it
TV Mom
You’re the one
Ha, ha, ha
Think I love you, TV mom
And we’ll just keep it
As a secret
Sherwood never needs to know
Don’t see no wrinkles
I’ll call you Twinkles
If you call me Johnny Bravo
I’ve had this crush since season two
The fans say “Marcia Marcia Marcia” yeah, but all I want is you
TV Mom
Yes, TV son?
You’re the one
No I’m not
So much groovier and hipper than my bitchy TV sisters
TV Mom
You’re the one
Ha, ha, ha
Think I love you, TV mom
Think I love you, TV mom
Yes I think I love you, TV mom
|
||||
5. |
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|
Let’s play a new game dear, it’s called love and hate
One sobers you up and one intoxicates
We’ve soldiered through both, often in the same day
Shall I start it off or should you?
Take me to heaven, fall under my spell
Soon you’ll wake up again, then back to Hell
I’m damned to be yours and you’re doomed to be mine
So let’s just get remarried and divorced one more time
Well this was once love but it curdled to hate
Then back into love, how can that be explained?
And if down the road it turns back into hate
We’ll know enough to see it through
Oh what a way to have spent all these years
Romance and ecstasy, heartbreak and tears
And I could’ve gone down as one of the greats
Instead I’m consumed by our love and our hate
Well what’s it tonight dear, is it love or hate?
Shall we dine on fine china, or break every plate?
I’ll come for the love, and I’ll stay for the hate
As long as you feel it too
I hate your temper but I love our fights
I love when you’re wrong and I hate when you’re right
I hate every slap and each smack to the jaw
But I love how we’re stared at with judgment and awe
I hate all your lectures, I hate our goodbyes
But I love your wittiness, love your sad eyes
I hate your new girlfriend, well now your new wife
I hate to say you’re the great love of my life
I love the curious way that you think
But I hate the way it turns off when you drink
I hate your shamelessness, I hate your fits
But I love your talent and I love your tits
I love the time that we spend on a set
But I hate your mansion, it’s too full of pets
I hate that I must now get home to my wife
As I can’t deny you’re the great love of my life
Put us in the madhouse and lock all the gates
As long as I’m with you, I’m surely insane
Til we see the difference between love and hate
And I don’t see it happening soon
Though I may deny it’s true
I know that I’d die without you
|
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6. |
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It’s been rumored that Greta and Mercedes
Were entangled in love throughout the thirties
And yes, there’s no clear proof
But I’m betting it’s the truth
These things tend to get written out of history
Just look and see
Oh yeah
Since as far as time goes back
There has never been a lack
Of ones to choose from, despite what the books might say
On records it will show
That they must have died alone
Or have been cared for by a friend until their grave, how fucking quaint
Isaac Newton had affairs
With Nicholas de Dullier
He wished to marry him but Nicky fled the scene
It drove Isaac to his death
But he’ll be remembered as
The lonely virgin who discovered gravity
Doesn’t sound like one to me
Unwritten gay romantic history
Might be a shock to you, it was to me
They’ve tried to wash it out, gotta learn about it now
Here’s some unwritten gay romantic history
Sister Rosetta Tharpe
Well Marie, she stole her heart
And so they belted out the music of the soul
That guitar slinging girl
Singing gospel to the world
And not long after, she invented rock n roll
Thought you might like to know
Unwritten gay romantic history
Might be a shock to you, it was to me
They’ve buried it with lies, we’re left to hypothesize and find
Unwritten gay romantic history
Margaret Mead, Zeus, and Athena
Socrates and Queen Christina
William Shakespeare, Gladys Bentley
Julius Caesar and Tchaikovsky
Unwritten gay romantic history
Can’t stop what you’re pretending not to see
Cary Grant and Walter Whitman
Florence Nightingale and Lincoln
And King Richard and King James and
Anne Lister, don’t ever forget
Unwritten gay romantic history
Could fill the shelves of untold libraries
It’s time they had their turn, cuz there’s so much more to learn about
Unwritten gay romantic history
Plato, Billie Holiday and
Herbert Hoover, Katherine Bates and
Roosevelt and Langston Hughes and
Dickinson, J Edgar Hoover
Joan of Arc and Oscar Wilde
Donatello, Gomer Pyle
Sappho and Igor Stravinsky
Florence Nightingale, DaVinci
Unwritten gay romantic, unwritten gay romantic
We’ll shout it from our rooftops, sea to sea
And share our history
So if some say that Greta and Mercedes were in love
I say we believe them, sometimes rumors are enough
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7. |
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Notice me
I’m staying after class
Or do you want to live your life
With one hand taped behind your back
Toy with me
I hear you dig control
If you need a place to put your cigarettes out
I can play that role
Right next to Rock and Jack and Bill
Right next to Walt and Paul and Will
Well you can write your name and number down,
I’ll call you up when you need a thrill
Private parties
They’ll let me in
If I came dressed in your outfit
Would that get your attention?
Right next to Rock and Jack and Bill
Right next to Walt and Paul and Will
Well you can write your name and number down,
I’ll call you up when you need a thrill
Some say you’re baiting me but I’m biting at the hook
I hope to see your name when I take a look
In my little black book
Hot rodding
And they say I drive too fast
I push my foot down on the pedal
It never hits me I could crash
But Marlon
I am shackled, I am fawning
Whatever you have always wanted
Keep tearing me apart, I love it
Right next to Rock and Jack and Bill
Right next to Walt and Paul and Will
Well you can write your name and number down,
I’ll call you up when you need a thrill
Some say you’re baiting me but I’m biting at the hook
I’m a goner, dead from the first look
You’re in my little black book
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8. |
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I’ll write an album for you someday my darling
I’ll write an album for you someday my dear
But we’ll settle for the singles while we have to
Cause that’s all the label wants now, and I ain’t got the clout round here
But I’ll write an album for you someday my darling
No matter how long it takes, I swear I’ll make it true
5 years, 10 years down the line, I’ll still be yours, you’ll be still be mine
And then it will be time to write my suite to you
Anna, you’re my girl
And I will tell the world
I’ll commit my love to vinyl when I can
And you’re only 17
Years ahead of me
Now go tell your little brother to give me a chance
So he hits the studio 15 years later
To make the record solely for his wife
Cause if Marvin ever wants a chance to be free, he’s gotta find a way to pay the alimony
Then he’ll move on to his new life
And my new high school sweetheart
See the judge said i could give you all the proceeds
So I figured I’d just kinda half-ass it, you know, out of spite
But that felt wrong and soon enough, my darling, inspiration struck
Instead I really tried to do it right
So have no fear my dear
Albums here my dear
And I’m pouring out my soul here just for you
Cause Anna, you were my girl
And I will tell all the world
And share every little detail of what we’ve been through
Always said I’d write an album just for you
Just didn’t know it’d be like this.
I hope you like it, it’s 80 minutes long.
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9. |
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|
Is there a reason
We obsess over stars’ dirty laundry?
Waste mental energy
On folks we’ll never meet
Spread the stories about Burt & Loni
Some blame the media
But you know that it’s us who demand it
Just cause they’re on TV
WKRP
And cause they starred in Smokey and the Bandit
We prop them up, push them to the top
Then we long to see them fall
To feed our lust for gossip and blood
This perverted spectacle
What makes it more important than
The love of ordinary men?
Why does it matter so to you?
Why does it matter to me too?
It’s none of our business
But when someone visits
There’s nothing else to do
We’ll shoot the shit and
Gossip and bitch then
“Hey did you hear the news
About Burt and Loni? Check out what she said!”
When they break up, we take sides
And defend them like our new religion
Whether it’s praise or scorn
Conclusions will be drawn
And spouted out like baby’s first opinion
We snipe, we point, we laugh
Cracking jokes about others misfortune
Don’t have to realize
That it’s uncivilized
When our behavior is always rewarded
And whether your assessments are fair or completely full of lies
You’ll get applause, they’re the only gods you’re allowed to criticize
And so we live our boring lives
With boring husbands, boring wives
As all the stars shine above you
But at least they’re unhappy too
They keep it exciting, fucking and fighting
Surviving off our stares
Sure it’s degrading, but entertaining
And the last laugh is theirs
Cause we’d sell our souls to be like one of them
The popular kids
Cause no one likes, yeah no one likes the popular kids
But we try, we try to be like the popular kids
And nothing gets you there like tearing down popular kids
Let us in
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10. |
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Wise men say when someone breaks your heart
Just take the pain and turn it into art
Contended men so rarely feel the need
To show the world how beautifully they bleed
Some can spin it into gold
Make masterpieces, so I’m told
Well, if that’s true
Abandoned by the one that you adore,
Gifted the greatest canvas you could ask for
When your heart breaks
It can turn a fool to a poet, it can turn ridicule to acclaim
When your heart breaks
You might find that you have something to say
But that don’t mean it’s something you should chase
It’s ruined twice as many as it’s made
Left them shaken, dazed, and hopelessly bereft
Of salvaging the brains that they’ve got left
Some can spin it into gold
But most will never be consoled
Their little horse has run away
The world will be just fine without your art
But you may not survive a broken heart
When your heart breaks
It can turn a poet back to a fool and it can turn a sculpture to clay
When your heart breaks
You might find you have nothing more to say
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11. |
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|
You dreamed I’d jump right off the page
My god, my writer, and my sage
If this is life with you, then I wholeheartedly refuse to be a muse
To be a muse, to be a muse
I don’t ponder where the ducklings go
I don’t keep my kings in the back row
You’re no guru, and I’m not beholden to you
I’m not your muse, not just a muse
To be a muse
Trapped inside the shadow of my captor
Time for me to start another chapter
Sure as birds will keep on flying
I’ll walk out and keep on trying
I feel so used, why would anybody choose
To be a muse, to be muse, to be a muse
You prayed I’d never get too old
Wise up to lies that I’d been sold
No more abuse, no more lighting your short fuse
To be a muse, to be a muse, to be a muse
There’s so much more I want to give, my friend
You observe the world, I choose to live in it
I’ve got no use for some tyrannical recluse
To be your muse, to be a muse
To be a muse
Easier to pine when you’re uncertain
Now I regret my peek behind the curtain
But sure as birds will keep on flying
I’ll walk out and keep on trying
Now that we’re through, I wish to never be reduced
To just a muse, to be a muse
To be a muse
I’ll try to put these years behind me
Fight back against how history defines me
Sure as birds will keep on flying
Unlike you, I’ll keep on writing
I think you’re through, but I’ve got so much more to do
To be a muse, to be a muse, to be a muse
Some dream to catch a glimpse of you
I’ve seen enough, now you’re see through
|
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12. |
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|
Our voices are not made for duets
But you can sing alone and have success
And you can write songs bout our split that everyone detests
But our voices just aren’t made for duets
My tone’s irreconcilably different
So I’ll star in films
And I’ll go run for Congress
And I’ll make music with Gregg Allman that we’ll both regret
Cause our voices just aren’t made for duets
They loved us for our chemistry, the way we looked and dressed
But our voices can’t sustain much more
Vocals can’t remain this poor
Our voices are not made for duets
|
||||
13. |
||||
|
Everyone is voting for Jack
His smile overshadows the flack
And he can charm his way up to the top
A lark for change, a passion for girls
He claims he’s here to change the world
But looks and soundbites are all that he’s got
The nature of charisma strikes again
Was bound to let you down, but now he’s dead
A bullet makes a martyr from a man
And we’ll fall for it time and time again
Could weave a fascination like my Marilyn
At once an ingenue and tragic heroine
To give it all away for fame, to be a friendless household name
A tale so quintessentially American
Recognized by millions, known by few
So as she slept, we dreamed up our own truth
It doesn’t have to be real to be true
It persisted in imagination and that’s all it had to do
Something’s gotta heal me, help me, make me whole
Soon as I rule the world or play the leading role
I want to rise, I want to fall, my god the glamour of it all yeah
You can have my pride, my body, and my soul
The goddess of the screen once met the president
What happened, well, I’m sure you’ll draw an inference
Cause though we know their paths did cross, the details are forever lost
But we know better than to ever question it
Why not create these infidelities?
Cause they’re not people, they’re celebrities
And we’ll romanticize toxicity
You must admit it makes for more compelling history
Something’s gotta heal me, help me, make me whole
I’ll never thrive as flesh, just make me a symbol
I’ll take that ride, I’ll heed that call, to breathe the glamour of it all yeah
You’ll have the power but you’ll never have control
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday Mr President
Happy birthday to you
Though they were dead, their myths had only just been born
Let’s drive them to their grave, then praise them when they’re gone
A mythic rise, a mammoth fall, my god the glamour of it all yeah
So sign me up, I’ll never notice I’ve been conned
Don’t wanna live as just another person
When I could simply die and be a legend
Skip until the end and let me be a myth, a symbol, and a fairytale
Maybe I can sit with Jack and Marilyn
|
||||
14. |
||||
|
And action!
Don’t you laugh at me, the jokes feel tired
And uninspired
Our best memories, are all in reruns
Of the past seasons
9 years of TV, just gotta rally
Through the finale
You long to be free, and I’m through pretending
No sitcom ending.
One more scene dear
The kisses may feel forced
Soon as we wrap I’m filing for divorce
And cut!
Call the shoot off cause it’s all through
I can’t stand to be around you for even a half hour, minus ads
Much like everyone still watching, I find myself often wondering about
How it ever got this bad
There’s a world outside our program and it’s finally time to go
No more feeding insecurities by basking in the glow
Of the fans who only love you from the you that’s on our show
They would leave you in a second if they knew the you I know
Take your final bow, cause when the show’s done, so are you
|
||||
15. |
||||
|
Ernest, Ethel said “I do”
And five weeks later, they were through
I think we all should take a cue
From their 32 day love
Never try to drag it out
After you start to have your doubts
And fear that you can live without
Your 32 day love
And that’s just how it oughta be
Oh what a precious gift
To have a love so passionate,
So fiery, so swift
I’m sure it would’ve been more fun
If it had just been 31
Why let it last more than a month?
Oh 32 day love
|
||||
16. |
||||
|
I smell greatness in the air
Ethel, how could you compare
To the massive golden arches over my sweet restaurant?
You can have the car, the house, the baby, you know what I want
I need out of my contracts
All they do is hold me back
Now our loving cup of soda has been spilled
And I’m afraid that we don’t offer free refills
So I’m leaving you for milkshakes, and I’m leaving you for fries
I am leaving you for clowns and purple blobs with big dead eyes
I am leaving you for progress
I am leaving you for fun
Now I’m married to McDonalds baby, ba da ba ba ba
|
||||
17. |
||||
|
Your fishing rod’s still on the bookshelf, where you always kept it
I don’t know if you’d appreciate that or think it’s odd I left it
Our home’s a living monument to love that’s long been dead
The walls are lined with memories that play inside my head and oh
I watched the sunset this morning
Out on the porch where we used to lie
I watched the sunset this morning
And I cried, and I cried
Now all the songs I write about you start in minor keys
And rooms that we once crowded now feel hauntingly empty
I sing one part of duets on a stage with room for two
Then wake up in our bed and tell myself I’m over you but oh
I watched the sunset this morning
Out on the porch where we used to lie
I watched the sunset this morning
And I cried, and I cried
Talk to me, James talk to me
I hear you in the walls and in the tapestry
I feel you in the floorboards and the evening breeze
I hear you everywhere, please can we speak?
I watch the sunset every morning
The darkness never waits for night
As long as I am home
My heart never dares to roam too far from you
I couldn’t leave it if I tried
|
||||
18. |
||||
|
Every riff is gold and every line is poetry
I’m an artist, and I mean it too
I got teenagers eating out of my palm
But they forget that I exist when Nirvana comes to town
It’s true
There’s nothing I can do
But that don’t mean I have to take this kind of shit from you
I see the way you look at him, you wish he was your man
How could you think of leaving me, do you know who I am?
Well
I’m the second best artist in the world
I could never throw my life away for just another girl
I’m the second best artist in the world
I’m a genius baby, who are you?
God it’s great to see you wallow in your jealousy
Babe it’s like you knew
You can dish it out until your face is blue
But you curl up on the floor when I do the same to you
It’s true, I want him more than you
You love to play the victim, your tantrums are not cute
You can’t measure up to me, and you can’t rock as hard
I’m enamored with the mystery, and I know who you are
I’m the second best artist in the world
I could never stand for disrespect from little junkie girls
You’re the second best artist on the earth
Well if that’s the case then why don’t I just go and get the first
I’d like to see you
I’d like to see you
Try, try, try
I know you crave attention, now you’re in the public eye
You’ll be tethered to the drama til the day you fuckin’ die
I’m the second best artist in the world
I don’t care about the sad affairs of little groupie girls
I’m the second best artist on the earth
Go and drive Kurt to his grave so I can get bumped up to first
You’re the second best
You’re the second best
And I’m the first to leave
I’m the second best
Better than the rest
It’s not enough for me
|
||||
19. |
||||
|
How long must I pretend
That frog and toad are friends
How long must I pretend
That frog and toad are friends
Until I say what’s on my mind and wipe away the slate
You can find me in the mornings walking to the riverbank
Then I’ll hide behind the easel and the pencils and the paint
Pouring every drop of lifeblood I have left onto the page
As I wrestle with my feelings and the inklings and the doubts
It’s revealed to me what these stories have always been about
Well they ask me where it comes from and I claim there’s not a link
Just a watercolor soul in a world of pen and ink
How long must I pretend
That frog and toad are friends
But just think of the resistance if the people knew the truth
I would be accused of subtly corrupting all the youth
It could ruin my career, my reputation, and my life
Oh what would I tell my children, and what would I tell my wife?
Would I have to spend remaining years trying to defend
The relationship between a duo of amphibians?
Would they rip my work from schools and ban me from the libraries?
I thought I wrote for kids, I guess it’s always been for me
How long must I pretend
That frog and toad are friends
Until the story ends
Until the story ends
As long as frog and toad are friends
As long as frog and toad are friends
As long as frog and toad are friends
As long as frog and toad are friends
|
||||
20. |
||||
|
No mountain I can’t climb
With my baby by my side
There’s no cross to bear, no storm that we can’t weather
Until the day I die
It’s me and you, it’s you and I
Oh who needs today when you’ve found your forever?
And if I’m running out-
Tina! You know that’s not gonna work for me. You gotta sing it like I told you to sing it, with grit, like your life depended on it. It’s a love song, girl - You gotta mean it!
Ah, alright boys, take it from the top.
Oh, like I mean it?
This time I’ll mean it.
1,2,3,4!
If I could imagine a life for us after today
I’d stifle the anger, I’d harness the pain
I’d say “yes sir” and keep pretending
But when I imagine you gasping for breath on the floor
As I’m gearing up for another world tour
Well I can see my happy ending
Well I’m the man who made you girl, you know that I could break you too
But someday you’ll be dead
So better days are ahead
I’m holding on
To when you’re gone
It’s getting me through the forever
Cause someday you’ll be dead
Well did you hear what I said?
I’ll laugh out loud
And stand all proud
Of making it through the forever
Now all I can hope for is seeing you rotting away
With all of the papers unable to say
A damn good thing about you baby
And don’t think I’m worried about the day that I die too
Cuz I won’t be staying the same place as you
But til then, only I can save me
Well I may not have a halo but I know that I don’t got no horns
Oh someday you’ll be dead
Can you get that through your head?
You think you’ve won
Just try to run
Forever remains undefeated
Yeah someday you’ll be dead
Wish it was before we were wed
So save your breath
Until your death
I’m telling you you’re gonna need it
Do you really think you can run off forever?
Make it on your own without us together?
No more beating when you’re dead
No more cheating when you’re dead
No songs, no dances, no more second chances, you’ll be dead
And though we all have to die
When I go, I’ll be immortalized
And I’ll live on for forever baby, you’re just gonna die
Now just watch me say goodbye
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21. |
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I thought I’d arrived once our love had begun
A duo of titans united as one
But now the world treats me like some novelty
Don’t you do the same with our love
But if we are parted, I fear once you’ve strayed
Your star will keep shining, but mine will fade
If this is my high point, then it’s your low
Oh my sweet Madonna, don’t go
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22. |
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Well it was in my 9th grade English class
That we learned of the playwrights of the past
Arthur Miller, and specifically, the time he spent with Marilyn Monroe
After months of letters and hushed affairs
To the tabloids, press and lots of stares
They were married, Norma Jean and her new beau
But happy ever after was not to be
Their second act skewed more towards tragedy
C’mon, it’s Miller, you know how these stories go
Cue sleeping with other celebrities
Substance abuse, failed pregnancies
Culminating in divorce and a drug overdose
And Arthur used their time as inspiration for his next Broadway play
The teacher asked “From what you’ve learned, what’s your main takeaway?”
So I say
It gives me hope
I guess there’s hope for us ugly guys
If Miss Monroe went home to him every night, instead of some salivating jacked up dope
I guess there’s hope
I guess there’s hope
That smart dudes can land a knockout after all
Excluding what went down after the fall, it gave me hope
And my classmates started saying “Teddy
Just cause you’re ugly doesn’t mean you’re smart
Just because you’ve struck out with the ladies
That doesn’t mean that you’ll just make good art”
Teacher said “Arthur Miller was a genius
He wrote Death of a Salesman, and other plays that I cannot name
Just because you’re also an eyesore
Doesn’t mean that you’re remotely the same”
And I said “Well friends, you may be absolutely correct
But I got a better shot of being like him than I do looking like Gregory Peck”
So let me hope
Just let us hope
Give some hope to us ugly guys
If she really loved that bald four-eyes
With commie ties, then let me emphasize
There’s hope
I guess there’s hope
For those of us who stay in and write
And never have a date on Friday nights
I guess there’s hope
Who’d’ve thought that it could pay to write?
I guess there’s hope!
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23. |
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Well I crawled right out of the scorched earth
With a needle hanging out of my vein
Donned a sneer and a leather jacket
Grew my hair out and chose a new name
God, so lost until I met you
Sidney, hold my hair, I think I’m gonna puke
I will
Well that’s done, now I’m bored
Let’s get ourselves a flat and go break some shite
But Sid, I thought you had a show tonight
I do
It’s never stopped me before
Take me in your arms and hold me close
Kick me to the gutter, buy another dose
There’s nothing that I love but you come close
Nothing that I love but you come close
Take me to the places where nobody else goes
Make a cuppa coffee, pour it right on my clothes
There’s nothing that I love but you come close
Nothing that I love but you come close
Well the press said we’re a lost cause
But they’re the ones who invited us here
Let’s make out on the toilet, fuck on the floor
I think we forgot to close the bathroom door
It’s cool, I kinda want them to hear
Take me in your arms and hold me close
Tip me on my side if you hear me choke
There’s nothing that I love but you come close
Nothing that I love but you come close
Oh and take me to the places where nobody else goes
Smack me in the face, rip my pantyhose
There’s nothing that I love but you come close
Nothing that I love but you come close
We’re harbingers of the great cultural decay
What does that mean?
Oh, it’s something I once heard John say
No, don’t speak his name
All that matters now is you and me
We don’t need drugs
Maybe just a few
I’m your best friend, I can’t live without you
Bass solo!
Ah, right
Oh take me in your arms and hold me close
Ruin my life yeah cancel my shows
There’s nothing that I love but you come close
Nothing that I love but you come close
Oh and take me to the places where nobody else goes
Stay with me till we’re dead and decomposed
There’s nothing that I love but you come close
Nothing that I love you come close
You come close
Oh, you come close
Nothing that I love but you come close
You come close
Oh, you come close
Nothing that I love but you come close
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24. |
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Decades apart
Scandal driven from the very start
Drunk, audacious swine
Passing out after too much wine
Photographed undraped
Your climaxes committed right to tape
Public enemies
Condemned, reviled far across the sea
Can you handle that my darling, oh my dear?
Cuz if you can, I know a way to freak the squares
Look how they stare, god they haven’t got a prayer
When you’re drifting, when you’re bored
I’ll be your provocateur
We’ll be heroes to the seedy
Wretched scoundrels to the pure
It may kill your reputation
But I’ll love you, tue l’amour
I’ll be your
Provocateur
Bad puns and lollipops
Concept albums donning Nazi rock
Endless affairs
A reggae rewrite of La Marseillaise
Now I’ve done it, oh the press will have my hide
But it’s more fun to have someone stick by your side
Find us naked on the floor
Beauty and provocateur
We’ve been slammed across the nation
It sure beats being ignored
Now I’ve killed your reputation
Don’t you love it?
Tue l’amour
I’ll be your
Provocateur
Now they’re breaking down our door
“Death to all provocateurs!”
Seems we finally pushed it too far
It’s the end of me for sure
Now my head is on a platter
And there’s a chopping block for yours
But I’ll be your
Provocateur
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25. |
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With every letter you send
Love with every letter you send
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26. |
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Ava no
Please don’t go
Not while I’m liable
To feel so low
I’ve never been one to take things lightly
You would know
So please just stay my dear
You’ve got to stay, my dear
Now I’m just a drunk
Whose race has been run
And you’re all that’s stopping me from becoming a world class bum
Career is through
Self-respect has fled too
All I have is you, my dear
Please don’t leave me too, my dear
When the bobby soxers dissipate, oh who will I have left?
What’s stopping me from ending it?
What’s keeping me from death?
I’ve uprooted my whole life for you, don’t let it be in vain
And I’ll love you til the day I die, don’t make it come today
I could take every pill in the cabinet
Turn the gas on and fall asleep
Slash open my wrists in the bathtub
Would you even pretend to weep?
I’m a wash up who wasted his one shot
Now I can’t even run to the gang
I’ll put a gun to my head
Shoot myself dead
This crooner’s gone out with a bang
Made a career of being miserable
This is just a new tank of fuel
But if you leave me, all of my suicide songs come true
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27. |
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Is it giving you a thrill just to see me break?
Do you want to find out just how much more I can take?
I thought the worst was behind us and we’d be alright
Until I found another nightgown in the laundry last night
And I could curse your name and fall to the floor
Or I could take it as a challenge to settle the score
That’s what I’ll do
And give it right back to you
And I know just the man to call to send you through the roof
Until the day I’m sure that I can call you mine
I got the king waiting for me on the other line
Because if my sensitivities don’t give you pause
Then you can put money on it that I’ll prey on yours
And I’m not ready yet to run or set you free
But I can teach you a lesson not to fuck with me
That’s what I’ll do
And give it right back to you
Want you to feel each ounce of pain you’ve put me through
I wanna shatter your ego and make you rage
Oh just to see if I still can
So would your flame ignite if I spent the night
Held in the arms of another man?
Imagine how he moved, his magnitude
Be driven mad by the song and dance
A sweet love makin’ machine groomed in brilliantine
And wearing taut black leather pants
And I know that we could be so happy baby
If you wanted to be
You could treat me like a lady
You could let me have your baby
A love story for the ages, you and me
And it’s not a Blue Hawaii, it’s a Desiree
Why do I just think of you each time I try to stray?
Never mind the fact that the sex was lacking
Revenge was a hit and run
That mama’s boy only makes love to sandwiches
But hey, the damage still got done
When you hear the truth, I hope it ruins you
Cause it’s the only way you’ll learn
So throw a chair, crack a plate, feel your spirit break
Now it’ll finally be your turn
Who am I kidding with this spiteful love?
Means nothing when you’re the one I’m thinking of
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28. |
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Ladies and gentlemen, we interrupt our program to bring you a special bulletin from the Celebrity Radio News. At 28 minutes before 8 central time, actress Rita Hayworth divorced her husband of four years, filmmaker Orson Welles. The starlet claims that Welles intense passion for his films leaves no room for her in his life. We now return you to the music of Teddy Grey on WNOE, as sponsored by Findus Frozen Peas.
WNOE at night
You can write about Falstaff and the midnight chimes
You can write about the Ambersons great decline
And play God
But you can’t write our love
You can act in Shakespearean tragedies
You can act your way through adverts for frozen peas
To raise funds
But you can’t act your way through our love
Great films take caution and care, but they’re a cinch compared to real life
Where the set pieces can’t be moved on a whim, and the lines are improvised
I’m yet another project of yours that failed when you refused to compromise
You can fake a love for wine from Paul Masson
You can fake sobriety when the camera’s on
Thank God
But you can’t fake our love
Choose an ending, dear Husband
Rosebud
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29. |
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Breathe in, don’t just break down
Hold tight, let the air out
Your true love has walked out the door
Just another scandal
It’s nothing he can’t handle
But me, I may collapse to the floor
Spied my luminary
Said “That’s the man I’ll marry”
There, backstage, you heeded my call
But it was founded on lies
Tears our spouses both cried
And now it’s time to pay for it all
And there goes another marriage
I sense we’re both to blame
But I never once lied in my heart, could you tell me the same?
Was I too much to manage?
Was it all for your career?
At times I’ve wished to die or disappear
But I’m not sorry I’m here
Technicolor gaslights
Each role mirroring life
I fear Blanche is living through me
When the curtain falls
To thunderous applause
It’s always comes after tragedy
And now the second act’s unfolding
Cue heartbreak and neglect
The rivalries, the pregnancies, it ends how you’d expect
But it can’t be a failure if it’s lasted 30 years
Surrender to the script or persevere
I’m not sorry I’m here
And everything’s easy when you don’t care
But you had to make me care about you
We gave it all to feed the grandeur of our dreams
Guess that’s the price of youth
Our love may have mutated
But our time wasn’t wasted
It matters not how our story ends
The only failed romances
Are the squandered chances
Ones that never get to even begin
And ours will last forever, on the silver screen
Scandalous and gloriously real in every scene
Does it make it all worth if they’ll tell our tale for years?
All signs point to the ending being near
But I’m not sorry I’m here
I’m not sorry I’m here
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30. |
Good Company
03:07
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|
It pains me to leave your side or to say farewell
So I cancelled our plans, got the weekend all to ourselves
Sure I got ambition, but I could just give up that
For sleeping in on the weekends with you as we both get fat
And if you fear you‘ll sell your soul, you probably will my friend
But if your fear is getting old, well don’t think too far ahead
I can’t enjoy good company
I like when it’s just you and me
They say we’re wasting our lives but it never really mattered to me
Do you remember the conversation we had last night
When you pretended everything I said was right
And I did the same, but you didn’t mind my deceit
Let’s never challenge each other on any of our beliefs
And if you feel you’ve sold your soul, don’t worry about that yet
There’s an appeal to growing old, well minus the fear of death
I can’t enjoy good company
I like when it’s just you and me
I hear the world is a mess but it never really mattered to me
And if you feel we’ve sold our souls, we probably have my friend
And I can feel us getting old, outgrowing our fear of death
I can’t enjoy good company
I like when it’s just you and me
So why would I change the world dear?
You’re the only thing that matters to me
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Teddy Grey New York, New York
Teddy Grey is a New York-based singer/songwriter. Past projects include double concept album "The Great Failed Romances of the Twentieth Century", mixtape "Rock N Roll McDonalds", and the cult independent movie "Garfeld: The Musical (A Garfield Parody)". More classics are on their way. Not rushing em this time. ... more
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