Rock N Roll McDonalds

by Teddy Grey

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1.
Let's Not Have Kids 00:57
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We can stay together forever We can ponder the drives of the id We can think that each other is clever But let's never ever ever have a kid We can stay out till four in the morning We can live way off the grid We can drink until we wish we hadn't But let's never ever ever have a kid I'm far too selfish to be any good at this I hate playing catch, I can't help with math homework for shit We can stay alive till we're old and bitter We can bitch about the lives we led We can even get a babysitter But let's never ever ever have a kid Let's never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever Ever ever ever have a kid Let's never ever ever ever ever ever ever Ever ever ever ever ever have a kid
2.
Flavor of the Day 01:54
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Please never ask me my opinion, 'cause I'll take it too far I'm just a young pretentious snot who likes to play guitar I'm far from healthy and being young is getting tough But nothing scares the shit out of me more than growing up I wanna buy out every restaurant so I don't have to wait And order all the appetizers in the goddamn state I wanna tattoo album artwork all over my chest Start living off coke and red peppers, work with Kanye West I wanna be a mess that's prone to drunken fits Can I please be brilliant enough to justify this shit? Let me be your flavor of the day I'll make a fortune, piss it all away Do one thing right and everything else wrong I'd be an overnight success but I don't wanna wait that long I wanna spend a year in exile, let people think I'm dead Become obsessed with cryogenics, plan to freeze my head Now I'm your spectacle, neighborhood eccentric Can I please be brilliant enough to justify this shit Please just buy my shit
3.
Pictures Of Your Feet 03:28
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Oh well I knew we’d never have a 9 to 5 I thought ambition would be enough to get us by And I’m not sure why But aspirations were high We’re young and beautiful, I’m sure that we’ll be fine You’d be on Broadway melting hearts and getting cheered I’d be a rock star by the end of the next year We moved to NYC like all new artists do With no idea what we were getting ourselves into I thought we’d be out living our dreams All over billboard charts and big screens But now I’m unemployed and you’re stuck selling pictures of your feet Thought I’d be selling out the garden And seeing movies that you starred in I’m making art for no one, and you’re selling pictures of your feet Well thank god for sites that don’t care what you sell And for all the creeps who can’t control themselves And god they pay so well They’re not a bad clientele Between pervs and dreamers, I see parallels Everyone just wants to satisfy their needs Some use fame and some use riches, some use pictures of your feet I thought we’d be out living our dreams Oh how could I ever have foreseen That I’d be unemployed and you’d be selling pictures of your feet Instead of working as an actress You found your audience on Craigslist I’m writing songs for no one, and you’re selling pictures of your feet I hate to ask but next time that you send a pic Could you attach the link to my Spotify with it? It might help How much longer do we have to live off pictures of your feet? How much longer do we have to live off pictures of your feet? There’s a lot of perverts out there, and there’s dreamers on the street So until we give it up, keep selling pictures of your feet Click, sell, repeat
4.
Temporary Tattoos 04:19
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When I told you that I’d be a star, how could I know that you’d be on board? Your suggestions all caught me off guard, cuz I’m so used to being ignored Ink won’t look good on my body, I’ve got no interest in tats I’ve got a job interview in the morning, I’m not gonna jeopardize that Too sensible to succeed Too practical to give you what you need Baby anyone can see that you’re a lot and I’m a little But there’s gotta be a way that you can meet me in the middle So you can cover my face in temporary tattoos, oh yeah You can spray paint my hair, write your name on my shoes, I swear Make me into whatever you choose As long as it’s something I can undo When you say you hear pain in my voice, I appreciate it and say “thanks” But my family was loving and kind, I had to manufacture my angst I've got no drug habits to speak of, no deaths to mine for some pain A divorce would’ve been so convenient, I could’ve been the next Cobain Maybe I just don’t have the gall Too hesitant to go risk it all Don’t remind me of the time I said I wanted to be God I’m a genuine phony, I’m an authentic fraud So you can cover my face in temporary tattoos, oh yeah You can spray paint my hair, write your name on my shoes, I swear Make sure it’s nothing that can’t be washed off Cuz tomorrow we gotta find jobs and grow up but For tonight let’s pretend we’ve got nothing to lose I never knew how frightening it would be To have somebody else see potential in me And I just wish that I could agree I’m committed to changing the world, and I hope my resolve’s here to stay But if someday I have to give up, can you promise you’ll still feel this way? But baby let’s save that for another day, for now You can cover my face in temporary tattoos, oh yeah You can spray paint my hair, write your name on my shoes Make sure it’s nothing that can’t be washed off Cuz tomorrow we gotta find jobs and grow up but For tonight let’s pretend we’ve got nothing to lose Make me into whatever you choose And I won’t refuse
5.
The 27 Club 04:39
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When I grow up I’m gonna be a rockstar My true calling is to be a fraud Who does tons of drugs, fucks loads of girls And gets worshipped as a god And on the day I turn 27 I’ll put a bullet in my head And on Earth they’ll all be mourning As I wait amongst the dead And Satan says “Boy what’d you do with your life?” As he frisks me at the gates And I say I was a rockstar One that’s up there with the greats Then he looks down at my papers To double-check my age He grabs my hand, and makes a plan He says “Sir, right this way!” We walk up to a club branded with a big two-seven Satan opens up the doors and says “Well, go right in” And now I’m getting drunk with Amy Winehouse Getting high with Kurt Cobain Writing poetry with Jim Morrison is not as much fun as you’d think Making out with Janis Joplin Voodoo with Robert Johnson Oh I’m in love I’m in the 27 club All my biggest inspirations Doing what they do best Dancing on the edge of chaos And indulging in excess Brian Jones invites me for a swim How could I ask for more? And the security nabs Andy Gibb As he sneaks in the back door It’s a place where care and caution have no use Where we eternally relive our misspent youth Yeah, I'm getting drunk with Amy Winehouse Getting high with Kurt Cobain And if Jim Morrison reads me one more poem, I’m gonna go fucking insane Jamming out with Jimi Hendrix Making room for Lil Pump Oh I’m in love I’m in the 27 club And in the midst of my fantasizing, a thought occurs to me Maybe these people aren’t heroes, and their tales are more cautionary And by being trapped in this dingy club, they’re reminded every day That they wasted their potential and they threw their lives away Could it be this afterlife that I’ve devised Reads more like a punishment than a grand prize? Could it be the tragic figures that I idolize Have only led me down a primrose path of lies? Nah, fuck that I wanna shoot up with Sid Vicious He’s not 27 but who cares? I wanna pig out with fat Elvis And listen to John Lennon swear Maybe I don’t wanna be a rockstar Maybe I just wanna have fun And this is fun (I'm binge drinking with Judy Garland) I just wanna die young Maybe at 27 I wanna grow up to die young I’m gonna die young, yes sir, I’m gonna die young 'Cause all you gotta do to live forever is die young
6.
I Miss the 2010s 03:18
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It’s barely begun but this decade’s a bore It feels like a letdown, I was hoping for more Nothing has changed and yet nothing’s as good as before I can’t pinpoint why, but since New Years Day It just feels like somehow the world’s lost it’s way Our passion is gone, and our prospects have withered away Oh don’t you wish that you we could go back to the 2010s Doesn't it seem as though it was all simpler back then Your cat was alive, my back wasn’t sore There were fewer threats of another world war I hate to say it but I miss the 2010s Though while we were in them, I ranted and cursed Thought each passing year couldn’t get any worse But I now realize how I actually loved the old days We had better music, we had bigger dreams We had better hashtags and funnier memes The past is a paradise, it’s the present I hate Oh don’t you wish that you we could go back to the 2010s Doesn’t it seem as though it was all simpler back then I still had my hair, I loved you far more We had better decades that we could pine for I hate to say it but I miss the 2010s Can we go back to then? Oh don’t you wish that we could go back to the 2010s A decade down and another one set to begin Doesn’t it seem as though it was all simpler back then? Could it be that nostalgia is doing me in? You still felt alive, I still had my dreams We still were uncertain of what life could be Hard to admit it but I miss the 2010s Can we go back to then?
7.
Math & Science 01:03
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Everyone who enjoys math I’m convinced is a goddamn psychopath Why would i spend hours just to know Something that i could just calculate on my phone If i have to take one more math class I’m gonna go insane I filled my memory with chords and lyrics I've got no room in my brain Everyone who enjoys science Has the personality of a kitchen appliance And everyone who enjoys math Can kiss my art-schooled, theater-loving Kiss my right-brained, english loving Take those numbers and shove them up your ass
8.
Sharing a Bed 02:00
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Sharing a bed Is hard when it’s a twin Cuz it’s not made for twins Unless the twins are very small Sharing a bed There’s never room for two So it all goes to you I end up pushed against the wall It’s not that I don’t love you I just hate cuddling I’ll admit that I value sleeping Over snuggling I’d like to have some room To toss and turn and scratch and drool Sharing a bed is difficult Even when it’s with you Sharing a bed I’ve learned to like it more Except for when you snore Then it feels like I’m in hell Sharing a bed Is nicer than it seems You wake me from bad dreams Somehow you can always tell And I’ll confess I love you I just hate cuddling And i'll admit I value sleeping Over snuggling I’d wish I had more room To toss and turn and scratch and drool Sharing a bed is difficult But I’ll do it for you
9.
Wonderwall In A Different Key 03:01
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Ever since I hit it big with my first single I’ve been playing round the world to sold-out crowds Critical acclaim and people cheering out my name Oh it’s a dream come true, I wish I could be proud Booking late night shows Making music videos And I haven’t enjoyed one bit I’ve got a secret and it keeps me up at night Because I know I don’t deserve any of this The world is praising me, but I cannot agree cuz All I did was write wonderwall in a different key It’s stolen blatantly but no one seems to see that All I did was write Wonderwall in a different key A different key, a different key All i did was write Wonderwall in a different key A different key, a different key All i did was write Wonderwall in a different key I didn’t think that I would ever get this far And now I’m living in a constant state of dread How do you deal with faking your way into stardom I’d call up Milli Vanilli but they’re dead 15 Minutes of fame Traded for a life of shame Can’t believe I had the gall Every time I go to play it, gotta stop myself from saying To the crowd “Anyway, here’s Wonderwall” I go from E to G, oh how has no one seen that All I did was write wonderwall in a different key Are you not noticing the blatant plagiarizing? All I did was write wonderwall in a different key Talent borrows, genius steals Wonder if this is how Greta Van Fleet feels Wonder if this means that I’m going to Hell And I wonder if this is how Oasis felt They’ll be erasing me from all of history Once they find out I wrote wonderwall in a different key Someone just sue me please Cuz I’m in agony knowing All I did was write Wonderwall in a different key Something’s gotta give The world has got to know Gallaghers are haunting me wherever I may go And I’m a fake, a thief And all I’ll ever be is The wannabe who wrote wonderwall in a different key A different key
10.
Sad Eyebrows 02:41
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I’ve got sad eyebrows And even when I feel my best They’re still sad eyebrows A look of permanent distress So I’m not allowed To showcase that I’m doing fine I’ll always look down They’ll always ask if I’m alright I wanna be the happy guy Who tells bad jokes and wears bow ties And doesn’t live inside his head And never wishes he was dead But I’m the guy who wears his damage on his sleeve I’ve got sad eyebrows, can’t you see? My voice is monotone My compliments sound sarcastic Life’s a tv show I’ve been type cast as a sad prick I wanna be the happy guy Who gives bear hugs and hard high fives And never drinks himself to sleep Or has The Smiths queued on repeat And though I try to hide, my face gives it away My sad eyebrows are here to stay Through all the ups and downs Psychotic grins, neurotic frowns Despondent lows, moronic highs They all look sad above my eyes I wanna be the happy guy Not some piss ant who sits and whines And wallows in his misery I just can’t shake melancholy And though I try to smile, the world can see right through I’ve got sad eyebrows, how are you?
11.
Sticky Notes 02:50
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Well I think today is gonna be the day Where most everything is gonna go my way I flushed my pills right down the drain, I have no clouds around my brain I think today is gonna be my day So I walk on down the stairs to the lobby And plastered to the wall, what do I see? Stuck up there are sticky notes adorned with some inspiring quotes As if someone had stuck them there for me “Be positive, just be yourself You weren’t born to be someone else Takes less muscles to smile than to frown You’re perfect just the way you are, an awesome friend, a shining star Don’t ever let your sadness bring you down” Looking at them, I’m unsure of what to say But I’ll admit these notes have rubbed me the wrong way I’m sure that they were well intentioned, but they come off condescending That’s not what I was looking for today Cuz I don’t want to see notes upon the door Start telling me that I should smile more Don’t try to discredit my sadness, it may push me into madness Or start up my next internal war “Be positive, just be yourself You weren’t born to be someone else” Look, it’s hard enough to live each day Don’t tell me what I have to feel, why the hell should I have to deal With pushy yellow notes and what they say Now I feel my neck is starting to get tense Feel my rage is pushing right through common sense Now yellow pads talk down to me and instruct me on who to be Oh who the hell would fall for that nonsense? Now I’m shaking and my face is turning red There’s an itch that can’t be scratched inside my head Once sticky notes start condescending, then you know your world is ending I wish whoever wrote those notes was dead “Be positive, just be yourself” Thanks for the tip, now go to Hell I’m done engaging with your twisted games “You’re perfect just the way you are” We’ve never met, but au revoir I’ve got a gun, it’s time to spill my brains Thank god I’ve got those sticky notes to blame
12.
Billie & Lil Nas 03:20
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I always thought that I’d be ahead of my time And now I’m feeling like I’m 30 years behind Cause I see teenagers performing on TV I’m only 21, how are they younger than me? I’m white, I play guitar, I thought that was enough I planned on coasting, now my futures looking rough They’re writing better songs, oh god I can’t compete I’m only 21, why are they younger than me? The kids are running circles around me The kids are running circles around me, can’t you see? Not even blacking out can shield from the truth Not even out of college and I’m swallowed by the youth Thought I’d chase all the old-timers out of this city That the kids are running circles around me Look at Billie Eilish, I can't be that cool I didn’t have the luxury of getting homeschooled Fitting in with classmates stifled creativity And she's only 18, how is she cooler than me? Look at Lil Nas X, god that kid is smart He understands how memes are there to help promote your art Imagine breaking chart records while you were still 19 I better break those records by the time I’m 23 The kids are running circles around me The kids are running circles around me, can’t you see? Not even blacking out can shield from the truth Not even out of college and I’m swallowed by the youth I hear their music and it’s like they’re mocking me Oh the kids are running circles around me Nyah Nyah Nyah Nyah The kids are running circles around me The kids are running circles around me, can’t you see? Not even blacking out can shield from the truth Barely out of college and I’m swallowed by the youth Every shred of ego I have left has to agree That the kids are running circles around me
13.
Artists 02:15
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Artists are selfish, son, take it from me They contribute nothing to our society They put themselves first and they pester their friends They’re never as good as they are in their heads They’ll ask you for money to record their songs Then expect you to pay for them when they're all done They vie for attention, then want to be alone They’re paid to have hobbies, yet they still bitch and moan Artists are awful, they take and they take You can give them the world and they’ll still ask for more Artists are garbage, now make no mistake Son, if you’re one of them Then you walk right out that door Not that I don’t get it, I had my dreams too But life doesn’t care son, your plans will fall through I couldn’t make it, so let me be clear You can’t be an artist, it’s not a career Artists are awful, they take and they take You can give them the world and they’ll still ask for more Artists are garbage, now make no mistake Son you’re not one of them You won’t be one of them And did it ever hit you that I too wanted fame And I gave up my dreams for you? So if you wanna thank me, then you’ll do the same 'Cause if I had to be miserable, then damn right you’re gonna be too Artists are stubborn, I know it firsthand But why would an artist listen to his old man? I know I can’t stop you, so go try if you can I just pray to god that you have a back-up plan

about

A mixtape consisting of all the singles/b-sides released by Teddy Grey over the past year with updated mixing and mastering and minor changes on nearly every song. Rock N Roll McDonalds.

credits

released August 7, 2020

All songs written by Teddy Grey

Teddy Grey - Vocals, Guitar, Bass, Strings

Michael Lepore - Piano, Drums, Guitar, Bass, Synths, Strings, Harmonica

Tre Cool - Drums (for Let's Not Have Kids, Flavor of the Day, Math & Science. Don't tell anybody)

Produced by Michael Lepore

Mixed by Teddy Grey (except for "Pictures Of Your Feet" which was mixed by Trevor Okonuk)

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Teddy Grey New York, New York

Teddy Grey is a New York-based singer/songwriter. Past projects include double concept album "The Great Failed Romances of the Twentieth Century", mixtape "Rock N Roll McDonalds", and the cult independent movie "Garfeld: The Musical (A Garfield Parody)". More classics are on their way. Not rushing em this time. ... more

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